A letter to my Son

Dear Max  ( I have changed your name…you never know what creepy weirdos are hanging around on Blogs..and no your mum isn’t one of them…we all think we are the ‘normal ones’)

Thank you for keeping me company while your dad has been away. I looked at you today and realized you have become a beautiful little person and that every day I spend with you is the last time you will be that small…with each day you grow bigger and wiser. Soon I won’t recognize the hairy man that will stand over me.

We got into the car today and you said ‘ have you got keys mum? a question that your dad would usually ask before leaving the house. “Yes mate, I’ve got the keys’.  You’ve heard dad remind me a million times to get my keys..and with him not here,  you grew from being a little baby into my protective eldest son.

Sorry for making you wear your jumper, I know you hate them and scream when I make you wear them,  but in my adult head I think it will be better for you to get used to wearing them. In your head you are petrified of the zip getting you and not being able to wipe your nose on your arm.

Thanks for watching A.B.C Kids this morning so that I could sneak in 20 mins to rest my eyes while your brother was finally sleeping, and thank you for jumping on me to give me a kiss in every commercial break and for prizing open my eyelids to check I was okay. In my adult head I was exhausted, in your head you were scared I wouldn’t wake up.

Thank you for letting us make mistakes. You were our first baby and I’m sorry that I put you in that big lonely cot on your own so soon. I feel terrible that your brother is still in our bedroom.

Thank you for always being so excited to see me in the morning. You always seem so surprised to be alive again…something us with adult heads take for granted.

Thank you for coming into sleep in my bed last night and for holding my hand while we were watching T.V. In your head you were scared of monsters and the big bear staring at you. Secretly I was relieved….In my adult head I was scared without dad too and was glad you were next to me.

I love to hold your hand…..I want to hold it forever because I know one day you won’t want toxx

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2 thoughts on “A letter to my Son

  1. What a beautiful piece! The grow up in the blink of an eye, don’t they? We are winding down the school year which for me is somehow harder than the starting up of a new one. My eldest will never be a first grader again. My youngest finished preschool last week marking the end of preschool in our house forever… Sigh.

    • Aghhhhh…makes me teary! There is something so beautiful about little boys, it is the only time you see males vulnerable.. before society makes them hard. You’ll be saying goodbye to your little ones every year soon too! Worst part of teaching is saying goodbye:)

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