3 Things That Make Me Laugh@…The Supermarket

My husband and My eldest son (recently and very secretly nicknamed ‘Animal‘) are out for the day, leaving me time to catch up with blog life and time to pay some attention to my youngest son who was recently (and secretly) nicknamed ‘cabbage‘. Why these names? Well  ‘Animal’  because at almost 3 he has become wild tiger. Cabbage, because compared to ‘animal’  he just sits still, and has occasionally been left in other rooms because he sits so quietly in his rocker.

So today I am going to risk offending many and making others leave this Blog feeling as though I am heartless. But the time had come to release my guilty secret about a few things that make me laugh inside, but  probably shouldn’t tell anyone about. As it happens…all of today’s guilty moments occur at the supermarket and as yesterday was shopping day, I was reminded of these annoyingly fabulous events.

The first is one that has made me laugh for years. Such a source of stress for some people yet simplistic pleasure for me.When I’m at the checkout  I love to place my groceries as close as possible to the groceries of the person in front of me and watch the sheer panic as they frantically search for the food divider. It is the ultimate crime, for some the actual thought of your lettuce touching their milk will drive them wild with disbelief. Watch them scurry and feel helpless if they can’t find one, they become agitated and begin to throw confused looks at you, hoping you will realise that it was your responsibility to find the divider before invading their ‘spot’ on the conveyor belt. Try it for yourself and then tell me you didn’t like it.

Secondly, when the line at the checkout is so long (you could have popped home for a coffee and still not have moved an inch) please do not act surprised when it is your turn and you are required to pay. This was not an unexpected request. You have had hours to think about it. This slow shopper then spends an additional five minutes looking for their wallets, much to the disgrace of those behind them in the line. People, you have had a lifetime to prepare for this moment, like moths to a flame, you have seen those who have gone before you, Get your shit together! This one is funny only because it used to be me giving the death stares to the slow people…now with the kids……it is me they are waiting for and I know what they are thinking.

Thirdly, it is common courtesy to inform people ‘as soon as they arrive’ at the deli counter, that they should grab a number. It is also a little bit entertaining to watch as ten other people walk up after them and are served before them, leaving the ‘non-number getter’ 407 th in the line for chicken breast fillets and having mildly violent thoughts towards the  pusher- in- erers. This is only funny because I have been the ‘non-number getter’ a million times and still haven’t learnt my lesson.

Anyway,  my lovely husband and son have just walked through the door….so it is time to resume my other hobby in life ‘Butler/Slave with a  touch of insomnia’.

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7 thoughts on “3 Things That Make Me Laugh@…The Supermarket

  1. Ha ha, loved this. Oh but you have not mentioned the shopper that comes up behind you, with 2 items in hand and strategically places them under your nose, indeed they hoping you will say ” oh you can go first” but your really thinking get to the express lane no queue jumping here. 🙂

    • Hahaha…. Yes the express pests! Must admit that I also was an imposter in express land… Went through a 5 items lane with 9 items.. Loved it! Felt such a achievement at getting away with it:)

  2. you know when you have picked up something and then at the last minute you decide that you don’t want it any more and place it in a completely random isle. Fibre Bran left in the confectionary isle, tampons in the cat food. The busy body clenching when you place the tin of baked beans next to the mints at the checkout.

  3. Definitely trying out number one. A new experience in the supermarket to look forward to. Wait until you can leave all your shopping on the conveyor belt because the till roll has run out and you have to be at school NOW to pick up your kids. Saved a small fortune that day!x

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