Men: The simple creatures

Tomorrow the boys and I will fly down to Adelaide for the week. Of course we are all really excited. But there is one person in particular who is trying ridiculously hard to conceal his excitement about our impending trip. My beautiful husband. Not because he is going but because he is staying, well at least for a few days.

I have noticed a distinct ‘fakeness’ to his sorrow about us being away for 4 days before he can get down to meet us mid week. His words say ‘I’ll miss you’ but his beady little eyes are really lighting up with thoughts of ‘ I can’t wait to have the couch to myself on Saturday night, and to sleep for 15 hours without being woken up by the creepy man from ‘Lazy Town’ on ABCkids, at a very unsociable hour.

I’m sitting here all sad about how I’ll miss him, and he’s trying his best to reciprocate while secretly rubbing his hands together under the dinner table with wonderful thoughts about his upcoming freedom. 

Why is it that men get all excited about being a dirty bachelor for a few days and we sit there pining like pathetic idiots? 

(silly question, really shouldn’t have asked)

His freedom will involve the following in no particular order:

sitting in underwear 

Baked Beans on toast

Woodstocks (bourbon and coke premix)

David Attenborough

Anything on Fox Sports

Coffee

Pizza

As much phone time as possible (as no one there to whinge that he’s been on looking at twitter too long)

Running

Sleeping

Sleeping 

Greg Inglis or any thing involving thick necked rugby players

Sleeping

Farting

Men are such simple little people….And here I was still trying to figure them out. They haven’t really progressed too much from the days of the cave.

Eat, sleep and be entertained.

I’m not complaining……because every now and then you do need time away to remember how much you miss each other……..or how much you love Woodstocks in your underwear while watching the great migration of the Polar Bears.

To my lovely husband, I Love you and will miss you lots… (at least wait until I’ve gone before you start organising your fun…yeah I can see you…tapping away on your phone…tap tap tap) see you on Wednesday

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12 thoughts on “Men: The simple creatures

  1. Firstly, Greg Inglis is not a thick-necked rugby player. He is just a thick league player. Secondly, we are not that simple. It takes certain fortitude and street smart to watch Fox Sports, drink alcoholic beverage and fart at the same time, while also checking out Twitter! 🙂

    • Mmm.. Another secret subscriber to the ‘man times’? 🙂 but surely there’s got to be more that goes on in that brain…could it really just be the ‘triple’ that keeps you guys happy? What time we have wasted talking shit to our girlfriends and overanalysing you lot:)

  2. The possibility of spending a whole day w/o a 2nd opinion ….. brilliant!
    The possibility of spending a whole day in a “man-cave” ….. awesome!
    And, the possibility of someone coming back to take my temperature and see that I actually survived for more than 5 minutes on my own ….. “makes one want to write a sonnet.”
    Having someone that actually care’s about me …………………………….. PRICELESS!!!!!! 🙂
    Best!
    G.

  3. Omg. LazyTown is such a wierd programme. The girl with the yellow hair, the funny somersault thing the guy does when he says hello. The Wiggles are similarly wierd with their mashed potato songs!

  4. I get the impression that my husband actually misses us when I take the kids and myself away for a week. I don’t quite understand this. If he took himself and the kids away and left me all by myself, I’d have a ball.
    Listening to loud music
    Getting up when I wanted to
    Eating sandwiches over the kitchen sink and only dirtying a coffee cup.
    Running
    Shopping
    Reading books
    Doing whatever the hell I wanted and not considering the needs of another soul.

    Oh, I can dream.
    I like your blog very much.

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