Really, It’s not that hard… 

  
Since having Elsie I’ve missed about a million phone calls, forgot to push send on 100’s of texts and have been down right shit at getting in touch with friends. Actually why lie… It isn’t since Elsie, it isn’t even since Sammy, and yes there’s probably even some incredible evidence they I did this even before having kids! 
We’ve all been there… The phone rings, your hands are full and you think to yourself ‘shit…will have to call them back, have so much to say that this spare 3 seconds won’t be enough time so I’ll call back when the kids are in bed’. Problem is by the time the kids are in bed, dinner dishes are done, you’ve finished trying to think of exciting things to put in the school lunchbox ( decide you’re going to put sultanas in knowing full well your child doesn’t eat them but it looks good if the teacher has a nosey) it’s 8pm and you’ve jumped into bed. You go to put your phone on charge and while you do, get distracted by stalking Instagram accounts of perfect strangers hashtagging cool things such as #tbt and #bbg . You’re not cool enough to know what they mean so have to google #tbt and #bbg, within half hour you’ve decided that ‘mumtobikini’ is so inspirational you’ll need to follow her and 19 of her friends. Before you know it, it’s 10pm and you should be sleeping, knowing the newborn will be awake in an hour or so- and all you’ve achieved Is gaining 20 new virtual friends, some contemporary knowledge of hash tagging and a sore wrist from scrolling. You’ve decided it’s now too late to call your friends back but and tell yourself ‘ I’ll call them tomorrow. But no you won’t And so the cycle begins again. 
Today I decided to start calling people back. I’m ashamed to say one friends son was now nearly 2, and I swear he was a newborn when I last called. The second one wasn’t able to answer as her son was in hospital at that very moment. The third call I missed while feeding was my other pregnant friend calling to tell me she had whooping cough. Last month I returned a call to find out my other best friend was pregnant and I hadn’t the time to return her call. 

Today I realised that the perfect time for that chat doesn’t actually exist. It’s actually now. I thought today how one day it might be someone’s most important phone call that I miss. The one that is to tell me they have cancer, or the one that is to tell me a partner has passed away or the one that is to tell me their child is born. And here I am thinking I’m so busy that I can’t answer the phone. My aim from now is to answer the calls even if the boys are jumping on my head, screaming and making it impossible to hear.even if I’m trying to do the food shopping and Sammy is launching roast chickens and tomatoes at other shoppers. I’m going to try hard to Atleast answer – then ask if I can call them back.

As busy as I have thought myself to be, I feel like I’ve let down those that have needed me. If I was important enough for them to think about in their busy days- then they should also be as important in mine. Really… It’s not that hard. 
P.s I did say ‘try’… Could take sometime to make this transition so feel free to use mess bank if it’s not as quick a change as I intend 😂😂

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Life with 3- It’s a girl!

 

I have been wanting to write this for the last 9 weeks. Because I wanted to share, but also so that once the newborn love bubble has popped I could remember this feeling forever. I’m looking at this beautiful little raven haired parcel, our little pixie whose new born hair sits just over the top of her little tiny ears, and still can’t believe how lucky we are. After having two bubbly, full of fun little boys we hit the jackpot and have our little girl. It’s funny, I didn’t really know how much I wanted a girl until we actually had her in our arms. Her name is Elsie, and she is just perfect.

The moment the doctor had delivered her and told us it was our girl, I was overcome with shock. I still can’t believe it-I had to ask if they were sure she was mine. Why would we deserve such a perfect little baby? They placed on her my chest and I just cried the ugly, snorting, raw type of cry that only a mum could understand. I couldn’t take my eyes off her then- and haven’t done since. She is the first girl that her brothers will love.

Nine weeks on and baby number 3 has certainly turned our lives upside down but in the best kind of way. There are the things that I catch myself saying, doing and thinking that would’ve shocked the first time mum version of me. There are now things that must just wait and then there are the things that you want to just slow down. With two children you can still try to have control over your house, your life and your sleep. By number three there is no disguising the fact that shit just got hard, but also that you are happy to just let things slide.

I used to be able to beat my washing….now my washing has well and truly beaten me with a big dirty stick. So much so that most days I only get around to chucking clothes on the spare bed and rarely get around to putting them away. We just accept that clothing is now permanently located on the ‘bedrobe’. I just noticed yesterday that some items are appearing for the 4th time on the bed without ever having set foot in the wardrobe. It’s like a one stop shop that has something for everyone. A place where jocks and socks can mingle freely, and where tshirts and jeans can live harmoniously in one big cult like community without being judged for being on the wrong shelf

I never ever would have let my kids leave the house in mismatched clothing. The thought of stripy tshirts and stripy shorts in the same outfit horrifies me and here we are in 2016 like some Playschool presenter rocking every colour of the rainbow in one outfit. My middle child Sammy has decided now that he will dress himself. He likes to choose outfits while I am stuck on the couch feeding Elsie- knowing full well I can’t do a thing about it. He has now worn the same soccer top for the fourth day in a row….only on the fourth day it was covered in spaghetti. I let him wear it to avoid the argument and to be honest I physically couldn’t chase him around the house and dress him with a baby hanging on to my nipple like it was an all you can eat buffet. I have surrended! Let him wear what he wants! Yesterday this included my socks, because he didn’t like his.

Online shopping delivery guy has become my new bestie. I hear his rusty truck pull up and his squeaky little trolley pushing up the driveway and am overcome with excitement. I see him and think ‘ I really hope he has the toilet paper- we have no tissues left, the wipes are almost out and to be honest the paper towel is just too scratchy’.  This little angel who for some reason can only give a delivery timeframe to the nearest 3 hours appears at my door and peacefully delivers my groceries. Groceries that with 3 children would’ve taken me 3 hours, 2 mid shop trolley abandonments, 14 threats of smacks and no treats, 4 arm squeezes and secret underarm grabs, 4 tantrums and the promise of  2 kinder surprises to get myself.

The school run has become an outrageous cruel and sick joke. I will leave it at that…mums will understand. No need to elaborate.

I drink beer now….sometimes at 4pm. Some days I ask myself ‘Is 3pm too early?’.

Suddenly knowing this will be my last baby, the hard things are no longer hard for the same reasons.  Rather than finding it hard to wake up at 2am I’m finding it hard to accept that each night it could be the last time my baby will wake me in the night to let me know she has missed me. It’s not hard that she has wanted to cuddle all day, especially from 4pm till 6pm when I’m trying to cook dinner. It is hard knowing that one day she will be too big to carry on my chest while trying to peel potatoes with one hand. It’s suddenly not such a pain in the ass to sort the clothes she has grown out of already, now it breaks my heart that I’ll never have another baby to wear them.

Having number three has given me a heart I didn’t know I had.  I didn’t know it could be so full, so complete and so thankful. As hectic, messy and loud as life has been this past 2 months there has not been a minute since having her that I would ever take back.