a little bit of mindfulness in between the madness 

  
I used to spend a fair bit of time drafting my posts – but 3 children down and I rarely find time to change toilet rolls these days so my new idea is to just scrap the planning and write… Mistakes and everything. Won’t make for the most exciting read you’ve ever had but who knows-Maybe I’ll begin managing more then 1 post a year again.

On Saturday I escaped my house, the kids and my husband and went to the beach. At first I couldn’t get out quick enough. After a months of no sleep, a busy husband and feeling very much like I was responsible for everything and everyone in our house  i needed to get away, if only for a couple of hours. I was exhausted and sat on the sand with coffee in hand. The sun was on my face and sound of the water was all I could hear, it had always been so calming for me. I sat quietly – wanting to enjoy every bit of the ‘no- fighting’ ‘no-crying’ ‘no – whinging’ that wasn’t going on. After an hour or so my desperate need to get away had dissolved into the sand beneath me and I was filled with intense gratitude. After a year of trying to force myself to be ‘mindful’ and to enjoy practicing ‘mindfulness- despite hating the voice of the silly man on the app that was recommended to me, it all suddenly clicked into place.

All it took was some time away, some mindfulness, to again appreciate what I have around me. 

Aside from taking the photo i was able to sit for 2 hours without looking at a screen. I’m starting to believe our need to have constant contact with our phones and a life that isn’t ours or isn’t lived out in front of us maybe the catalyst for us all feeling the need to lead ‘better lives’ to eat ‘better food’, that being a mum and beingaverage isn’t  enough. When since should you feel like a lazy ass because you’re not running a ‘mummy business?… I’m flat out just trying to keep the children alive let alone sewing vintage bibs and screen printing owls onto organic monochrome jumpsuits in the 2 spare minutes I have for the day. 
I took this picture to remind me of this feeling next time I feel like escaping….to remind me to turn it all off and to just face the sun and enjoy being average. 

Gold Coast Marathon (well almost)

My nerves are gone (just for now) and the excitement has come to town. Today I collected my race number for the Gold Coast Marathon. Yes I hear the shock, well take back some of your gasp, I am only running the half marathon but to me it is the ‘Big One’.

After years of wanting to do it, this past January I finally plucked up the courage to enter. It was actually one of my new year’s resolutions but despite paying the entry fee months ago, (much to husband’s disgust ‘what do you mean you pay to run on the road? Do it the weekend after for free’) up until today it wasn’t really tangible, it was just another distant idea mixed up with all the other really great ideas I’ve had in the past such as:
No 1. Selling bathers (togs for you northerners) at Cararra Markets. This was a momentous flop. We sold two pairs, one to a friend of mine who was obviously embarrassed for us and another lady who I am certain was still drunk from the night before. We actually came out at a loss because we spent our profit on 79 coffees and a dodgy bacon and egg roll. Needless to say I still have a bag full of ‘girls’ bathers in my cupboard, and as luck would have it, I have two boys.
One of my dear friends: ‘Why does she buy Sienna bathers for her birthday and Christmas and Easter every year? Weirdo!
No. 2. This one more recent (as in right now) so I can’t even mock myself. Buying cushion covers from Chinese supplier who promised to get hold of any design you sent her. Unfortunately none of the 743 designs she had resembled anything slightly worth buying, so because I felt sorry for her bought ten of the least ‘Chinese New Year’ looking covers available. We had 5 Views on Ebay in 4 weeks, 4 of which were actually my husband and I checking the listing. FYI there auction is still open on Ebay, so hop on, don’t be shy, plenty left to choose from.

So my goal of running the half is almost here, no longer an idea but an actual event. The timing has never been right, between pregnancy, recovery, breast feeding, lazy, lazy, scared, pregnancy, fat again and recovery, there was always something standing in my way. Isn’t it the strangest feeling when that ‘something’ you have been working towards, training for, saving for or wishing for finally comes within reach. After Seven months of training and many more years of just wanting to do it, On Sunday I can finally tick my ‘something’ off my list.

Since being a chubby little 13 year old who turned up one Saturday morning to try Little Athletics, so started my love of running. For a small moment in time, no one can get to you, it is just you and your thoughts. When you leave the house in a shitty mood, you return home with all of the answers you’ve been looking for. I will still run most days when this race is over but I’m feeling a little sadness almost as if I’m about to lose a friend. I also feel a little lost. Where do you go once you’ve achieved your goal? Of course I have many more on the go (travel, study, work, life and family) but for a runner, the half / marathon is the ultimate. Maybe the London marathon? NYC Marathon? I really have always looked at full marathon runners and thought ‘why would you do that? It’s actually ?%$@# outrageous that you would want to run that far’. But who knows how I will feel after crossing the line, where to from here?

So what is your personal goal? What did you do when you finally ticked it off that big list?
Can’t wait! See you on the other side 🙂