Life with 3- It’s a girl!

 

I have been wanting to write this for the last 9 weeks. Because I wanted to share, but also so that once the newborn love bubble has popped I could remember this feeling forever. I’m looking at this beautiful little raven haired parcel, our little pixie whose new born hair sits just over the top of her little tiny ears, and still can’t believe how lucky we are. After having two bubbly, full of fun little boys we hit the jackpot and have our little girl. It’s funny, I didn’t really know how much I wanted a girl until we actually had her in our arms. Her name is Elsie, and she is just perfect.

The moment the doctor had delivered her and told us it was our girl, I was overcome with shock. I still can’t believe it-I had to ask if they were sure she was mine. Why would we deserve such a perfect little baby? They placed on her my chest and I just cried the ugly, snorting, raw type of cry that only a mum could understand. I couldn’t take my eyes off her then- and haven’t done since. She is the first girl that her brothers will love.

Nine weeks on and baby number 3 has certainly turned our lives upside down but in the best kind of way. There are the things that I catch myself saying, doing and thinking that would’ve shocked the first time mum version of me. There are now things that must just wait and then there are the things that you want to just slow down. With two children you can still try to have control over your house, your life and your sleep. By number three there is no disguising the fact that shit just got hard, but also that you are happy to just let things slide.

I used to be able to beat my washing….now my washing has well and truly beaten me with a big dirty stick. So much so that most days I only get around to chucking clothes on the spare bed and rarely get around to putting them away. We just accept that clothing is now permanently located on the ‘bedrobe’. I just noticed yesterday that some items are appearing for the 4th time on the bed without ever having set foot in the wardrobe. It’s like a one stop shop that has something for everyone. A place where jocks and socks can mingle freely, and where tshirts and jeans can live harmoniously in one big cult like community without being judged for being on the wrong shelf

I never ever would have let my kids leave the house in mismatched clothing. The thought of stripy tshirts and stripy shorts in the same outfit horrifies me and here we are in 2016 like some Playschool presenter rocking every colour of the rainbow in one outfit. My middle child Sammy has decided now that he will dress himself. He likes to choose outfits while I am stuck on the couch feeding Elsie- knowing full well I can’t do a thing about it. He has now worn the same soccer top for the fourth day in a row….only on the fourth day it was covered in spaghetti. I let him wear it to avoid the argument and to be honest I physically couldn’t chase him around the house and dress him with a baby hanging on to my nipple like it was an all you can eat buffet. I have surrended! Let him wear what he wants! Yesterday this included my socks, because he didn’t like his.

Online shopping delivery guy has become my new bestie. I hear his rusty truck pull up and his squeaky little trolley pushing up the driveway and am overcome with excitement. I see him and think ‘ I really hope he has the toilet paper- we have no tissues left, the wipes are almost out and to be honest the paper towel is just too scratchy’.  This little angel who for some reason can only give a delivery timeframe to the nearest 3 hours appears at my door and peacefully delivers my groceries. Groceries that with 3 children would’ve taken me 3 hours, 2 mid shop trolley abandonments, 14 threats of smacks and no treats, 4 arm squeezes and secret underarm grabs, 4 tantrums and the promise of  2 kinder surprises to get myself.

The school run has become an outrageous cruel and sick joke. I will leave it at that…mums will understand. No need to elaborate.

I drink beer now….sometimes at 4pm. Some days I ask myself ‘Is 3pm too early?’.

Suddenly knowing this will be my last baby, the hard things are no longer hard for the same reasons.  Rather than finding it hard to wake up at 2am I’m finding it hard to accept that each night it could be the last time my baby will wake me in the night to let me know she has missed me. It’s not hard that she has wanted to cuddle all day, especially from 4pm till 6pm when I’m trying to cook dinner. It is hard knowing that one day she will be too big to carry on my chest while trying to peel potatoes with one hand. It’s suddenly not such a pain in the ass to sort the clothes she has grown out of already, now it breaks my heart that I’ll never have another baby to wear them.

Having number three has given me a heart I didn’t know I had.  I didn’t know it could be so full, so complete and so thankful. As hectic, messy and loud as life has been this past 2 months there has not been a minute since having her that I would ever take back.

Revised: The real list of things that men do to annoy women

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Last night my husband was scrolling through Twitter when I heard him laugh out loud. ‘Here you’ll like this one’ he called out, which usually means I will find it offensive in some way and that he is out to annoy me for the next 15 minutes. I must say 9 out of 10 times I will take the bait and launch into a discussion about why it is not funny to be looking at pictures entitled ‘Epic Drunken Fails’ or anything featuring overweight, naked people.  It turns out he was laughing at a post titled ‘The ten things men do to annoy women’.

Admittedly some items were true and clearly demonstrated the female tendency to change our minds depending on what day it is (lie to them, tell them the truth, speaking too much, speaking too little, being too nice, being too mean, breathing, not breathing) but it just goes to show that men still have no clue about what it is that they could be doing to make life a little easier for us.  It also proves that my husband knows exactly what to do to push my buttons and also knows what to do to make my life easier, so my question is, if they know what pisses us off – why don’t they just stop doing it?

So here is my list of things that men do to annoy women-Just in time for Christmas boys!

1. When men return home from their daily adventures, women will ask  ‘What did you get up to today?‘ or ‘Did you see anyone?’. The men say ‘no, nothing much and no, I didn’t see anyone’. Fast forward to a week later and we find out that not only did you see long lost Uncle Barry, but he is now marrying a circus performer and we are invited to the wedding. The men respond with ‘Didn’t I tell you?’ No you bloody didn’t. Just tell us what we need to know, WHEN we need to know it.

2. Women spend precious minutes deliberating over the best words to use when composing a text message to our loved ones, perhaps a few sentences of our deepest heartfelt sentiments or sometimes even a little argument. We see the little dots flashing (for you Iphone users out there) and get excited anticipating their reply, only to hear the beep…. and it reads ‘ok’. Um excuse me, I have just written you fourteen sentences and asked 4 questions, how the hell have you just answered with ok?

3.Men please don’t reply to arguments about housework equity, with ‘I do the gardens and I empty the bins’. These events occur monthly and weekly. The dishes are daily, the washing is daily, 2 x baby carrying=18 months hard time. We will put up no fight should you ever wish to swap. And yes we realise the reason you don’t ask to swap is because you ‘know’ exactly what’s happening here.

4. Wetting the babies Head: Are you guys serious? What part of your participation in this grand event are we celebrating? This has got to be some type of sick joke. You are going to try and convince a fat, hormonal and tired new mother who has just spent 18 hours in labour that it is YOU that deserves the beer and the slap on the back.

5. Men who get out of bed last and wonder why the bed is not made when they’re preparing to get back into it at night. Because it is sooooo easy to make the bed while you are still sleeping in it. I have never met a woman who says ‘ I just love getting up at 5 every morning with the kids so we can sit and watch you sleep so peacefully.

6. Food shopping is not actually just OUR job. You do help to eat the food and we are well aware that when you are sent to shop that you purposely buy the wrong products in order to deem yourself an ‘unreliable shopper’ who will never be asked to go again. My name is not Susan, I do not wear an apron, apply my lippy before you get home or live in the 1950’s.

7. If we have just spent an hour getting ready to go out, we want to be told we look great.

8. Do not ever see the petrol light come on and think, ‘I can’t be bothered, she can get it on her way to work in the morning’. This is never an ‘Ok’ thought to have. She will NEVER enjoy filling the car up with petrol and will not feel exhilarated by trying to run the gauntlet before the car conks out on the side of the road.

9. Male toilet behaviour. I am merely pointing out that it isn’t the ladies who wee’s under the toilet lid.

10. As soon as our phone rings and we speak our first words, you all of a sudden want to ask us questions. Very loud, important and urgent questions that couldn’t possibly have been asked in the 9 hours leading up to the phone call. Stop it, just wait.

11. Don’t fall asleep on the couch holding the remote control and then as soon as we are able to prize it away and get it onto the Real Housewives, wake up like some one has stolen your cat declaring ‘ I was watching that’.You were sleeping, relinquish control of the remote. Also stop trying to flick through channels during the ads of our favourite shows, you will never be able to get the timing right.

I must point out that the above ‘ annoying acts’ are not based on my own husband. Whilst this is not a true story, some characters have been inspired by real life events. However if my husband IS reading please stop leaving your drinking glass on the uneven part of the sink. It will never ever balance there. You choose the one part of the ample sized sink to balance a glass, knowing it will fall into the sink every time. Please just put it in the dish rack provided!

When I started writing list, I thought I would be here for hours. Turns out men aren’t so bad. But really guys, just get on board!

Third Time Lucky or Three’s a crowd?

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So those of you with children will be familiar with the mad battle that us 20 to 40 something’s have from time to time. Life is going smoothly, the kids are getting older and dare I say ‘easier’. The baby bags are getting smaller and at times can be forgotten altogether . No more looking down at my hands at the supermarket and realising there’s actual poo on them, and no more frantically searching for somewhere to expose my underwear, floppy belly,breasts and nipples to strangers whilst trying to convince myself  that it is totally normal to do so in order to feed my child.    ( which I still have not achieved and sorry guys I will just never be a’ just yank it out,’ type of gal ‘)

The nights are beginning to feel like nights again- full of sleep and guilt free red wines. Then there’s me. I am standing at the station waiting for the train…one is headed to ‘Normal Town’ where bodies have returned to a semi-human looking state after housing two big boys and then the  brain is beginning to turn back towards ‘worky’ type things rather than the big issues in life. Like When will Playschool tour Brisbane again? and Did you know that the new cafe down the street has a kids play area ? #serenity #newhome #myshout.

I can finally start to sit down with my child-less friends for at least one sip of coffee before running off mid sentence to capture a pint sized escapee who becomes an expert at locating the nearest $2 shopping centre ride. Within minutes of seeing your weary bottom hit the chair the toddler radar is alerted to the next colourful target. (This months $2 mechanical miracle ride is the Peppa Pig’s rotating rocket, conveniently located right outside the coffee shop.)

Then there is the other train…roaring into the station at full steam ahead, it’s the train back to what I affectionately like to call ‘Crazy Town’. Yep, that’s right the one where you and your husband discuss ‘trying for a third baby’. I mean what a great idea! Life is good, life is calm, let’s go muck it all up, rewind ourselves a few years and head  back to crazy town! Are we nuts? There are days where I think, I can’t even handle the two I have, why would I add to this madness? It wasn’t so long ago that I couldn’t even do food shopping without my chicken being hurled from the trolley at passers by and my watermelon being poked to death by little fingers…..well actually this was last week (boys and shops huh!)

Though it seems everyone has an opinion on the matter. Having two beautiful boys, people just love  telling us how we should be trying for a girl. Yes if I am honest, despite being a huge lover of boys, with two beautiful baby boys already of course I would love a girl to finish our family. Admittedly I  wouldn’t know what to do upon opening a nappy with no willy in it, but am up for the challenge. However, we go into this decision knowing that due to family history the odds are stacked and a third boy will be our  cherry on top. We go into this decision trying for a third healthy baby, and not for a girl. When this baby business started we just wanted three humans in our life….so lets not get picky.

Then there are those from 3 sibling families who say the dynamics were a nightmare. Three’s a crowd they say, ‘there’s always one left out’ or ‘there’s always a weird one with three’ . We get it. Three means new car, new house and no holidays until 2099, but  I just don’t feel finished at 2. Maybe it’s because I myself am from a two child family. Maybe it’s because I feel like my brother was my best friend, and with just two of us, when he’s not there, I have no one. Maybe because I loved the chaos that would occur in the morning at my best friends house with four kids running around. I am sure she got sick of constantly sharing a room with her sisters, or getting hand me downs, but I am also sure she is grateful today for those memories. Or maybe it is because even at my age, I still hate being alone.

So the next  train to crazy town is fast approaching the station, and I am pretty sure we will hop on and see where it takes us.

(NB- for friends and family this train will not be leaving until after Christmas due to mummy’s appreciation of wine during the festive season)

Oh and I almost forgot, If you are one of three and are sitting there thinking, “What is she on about?, there wasn’t a weird one in our house” then it was probably you.

 

 

One Lovely Blog Award: The Soundtrack to my life so far…

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So I have been blabbing away on my Blog for well over a year now, and I have to say that we have experienced a ‘topsy turvy’ relationship. Some weeks are great, the writing comes easy, the stats are high and there are comments a plenty. Other weeks you sit down to write and wind up searching realestate.com despite having no intention of moving. You wonder if the views you’ve had have come inadvertently from a poor dyslexic stumbling their way through Google and finding you completely by accident. You wonder if your latest follower is just another marketing scam promising to boost your ‘Blogging Mojo’. Accident or not it is always nice to know someone is out there.

I still get so excited by new followers, and finding fabulous new blogs is still a thrill. It is especially heart warming to be nominated for ‘The Lovely Blog Award’ by my fellow Queenslander and former A- league Soccer Widow – Mrs C from Mammasvida: A Mamma’s Life Musings.  For a truly honest opinion on all things children, food, life and love head over and take a look. Thank you mammasvida for making me feel so normal, I often read your blogs and think ‘It’s not just me then’, and really admire your honest style. I could use a tip or two from you on how to be truly honest in your  writing without offending your friends, as I am getting to the stage in ones Blogging life when those who know you personally, call you frantically shouting ‘I hope that  blog isn’t about me’.

In keeping with the ‘I’ve been nominated but don’t want to bore every with 7 things about myself again’ theme, I like those have gone before me will create my Lovely Blog Award with a twist.

My 12 Songs: The soundtrack to my life so far …..

Now let me just start by saying, I certainly DO NOT have these songs playing in my car. They are not  my TOP 12 songs in order, or even songs I like, but more the songs that have been chosen for me. These are the songs that when we watch our lives back in slow motion will remind us of  that time in our lives. The songs that take us back to our greatest moments and also the lowest moments in our lives.

1# Nothings Going To Change My love for You: Glen Medeiros, 1987.

I’m not sure how well you would go here but his is actually the first actual song I can ever remember hearing. I was 4 years old, living in the UK (pre-immigration). I remember seeing this film clip on what would have been one of the earliest ‘Video Hits’ shows in London . Terribly, Terribly tragic song, with an even worse film clip. Oh Dear! Child of the 80’s.

2#Give Peace a Chance: John Lennon 1969. Shortly after arriving in Australia I remember by mum and dad playing this on the old record player in our very first house. Usually 2am in the morning after being at the pub and often involving discussions about being homesick or late night calls back to family in England. Some nights it was happy and some nights it was sad.(Often played with Bonnie Tyler and Tina Turner’s greatest hits)

3# Stylistics: Any song, any year. I remember my mum finding this CD in our local Brashes store and being so exciting about it. I too was excited for her until it became the ‘I’ll be playing this very loud for the next 3 hours while I clean the house‘ soundtrack. Will always remind me of my mum.

4# Enya: Only time:2000. This song was played on repeat by my midwife while I laboured my first son in 2010. Being very much the opposite of an earth mother, I refused to make a birth plan or CD like all of the other very  ‘interesting people’ at my birthing class. Who the hell will notice what is playing when a human comes tearing its way out of you like alien life form?’ is what I was thinking. Well turns out you do notice. It probably wasn’t on repeat, but after 18 hours I guess I heard it a few times. Still makes me cry when I hear it, in a good way. I never really listened to the words until afterwards. Such a happy day.

6#Time of Your Life:Green Day:1997. This song reminds me of being a teenager. First parties. First Drinking. First Boyfriends. High School and all that went on in those 5 awkward and horrid years. Also reminds me of the Adelaide Crows (AFL) winning back to back premierships and having a party to celebrate.

7# Fields Of Athenry: Various. This song is important for many reasons. Firstly my Irish heritage meant many family gatherings were spent listening to Irish music. In his younger years I remember my Grandad entertaining at his house with his old tape recorder on the kitchen ledge leaned as close as possible to the fly screen so he could belt out his Irish Tunes into the garden. This song was played at many family events. This was also the song I danced to with dad at my own wedding. We had planned it out for years and when it finally happened, I don’t remember there being anyone else in the room. A moment we had waited for since I was a little girl and one I will remember when I am an old woman. A good memory of the way we used to be.

8#Incubus: Any song, Any year. Reminds me of my husband. Is one of his favourite bands. I have it as my ring tone when he calls. Even our children know the words.

9#Dream Catch Me, Newton Falkner. 2007. This song was still playing in 2008 when I first started seeing my husband. We had only been together a year or so when he asked if I wanted to move with him to the Gold Coast with him for his Soccer Career. Not  one for chasing men and definitely not one for following them interstate,  this was a huge decision to make. Turns our it was the best one of my life but I still remember questioning if I was doing the right thing at the time. I remember this song always use to come on the radio when I was thinking about it.

10# Standby Me: Ben E King.1961. This was our wedding dance. Classic song. Enough said

11#I won’t let you go. James Morrison:2011. Another song from our wedding. Just love the words to this one.

12#Let It go.Idina Menzel (Frozen Movie) :2013. Whilst we are still subjected to listening to this torturous song on Youtube three times a day, I just know this will one day make me smile and think about my beautiful little boys standing on our bed and singing it together.

 

So there you have it My top 12 songs and my  ‘One Lovely Blog Award’  I would love to hear yours!

Have a great week.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

What If our children ruled the world…..

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What If our children ruled the world?

We have lived in our smallish town house, in our quiet, safe suburb for three years now. In that three years we have added two beautiful boys to our family and have seen some fairly memorable neighbours come and go (you can read more about them in my October 2013 post titled ‘Noisy Neighbours…including how one of them got the nickname ‘sheets’). We have also had many neighbours who have been here living just  metres away from us since the very beginning whom I still wouldn’t recognize from a bar of soap if I saw them in them at the shops. This was until last week. I cannot take credit for this, this didn’t happen because of me the ‘adult’ but because of the actions of my two little boys, ‘The Children’. The ones we say have a lot to learn from us ‘The Adults’.

Isn’t it terrible that after three years of living literally next door it has taken until now to have a proper  chat with our neighbours? Not that I haven’t tried. When we first moved in I would regularly try and befriend our immediate next door neighbour, who still to this day will unashamedly pretend she hasn’t seen me when we pass on the path and who I have caught quickly running into the house when we pull up the driveway (Yes crazy lady…I have seen you and know what you are up to!) who knows why?  Maybe my husband is right and she has heard me calling her by her nickname ‘sheets’. So I sort of just gave up, If they couldn’t be bothered then I wouldn’t keep trying either.

The shame of all this was that the neighbours had children too. When we first moved in my boys were little, but now they are old enough to stand at the fence, peeking through the gaps as the neighbourhood kids ride up and down the driveway shouting out in excitement. They are still that little bit too young to go outside without me, so last week I turned to my eldest and said ‘ do you want to go out?’ He was so excited, and ran to the gate. He is a shy child and I guess in new social situations, I am shy too, but luckily his little baby brother was there to break the ice.

Within minutes he was running up and down the street squealing with laughter. The older girl from a few doors down was walking around with my youngest on her hip and later asked if she could take the boys in  to meet her mum, who apparently loved babies. Feeling a little bit awkward I said yes….. and there you have it, it was that simple, of course it is normal to take a random child inside your home to meet your mum!………No over thinking, no over analysing- after 3 years we were talking to the neighbours. For the record she was lovely. She shared lots about herself in just a few short minutes and you could tell she was a good, loving and proud mum.

My eldest hasn’t stopped talking about our meeting since and keeps asking when we are going to play with our friends again. I must admit I am a little embarrassed that we hadn’t done it sooner and that it took children to break down our barriers. You see children look at the world simply. They don’t see the awkwardness that we see, they don’t hold grudges, they forgive freely, and  they make friends easily…because through the eyes of a child….if we talk and play nicely just once, then we are best friends.

This got me to thinking about how when it comes to living and being part of society, maybe the kids have this stuff right, and we have it all wrong? It is only when adults start to interfere with their pure, untainted ideologies that things start to fall apart for them.

So If our children ruled the world then maybe ……………………………

Friends could be made with just a smile and a shared ride on a scooter.

After a big tantrum, we could just have a nap and all the mean words that were shared would be forgotten when we both woke up.

Any injury or hurt feeling ever caused in the world could be fixed with a Peppa Pig Band Aid and a magic kiss.

Hugs and I love you’s are all we would need to start  the day, not 6 strong lattes before lunchtime.

Self esteem would be based on who had the best Thomas the Tank Engine Tshirt…not on who was the skinniest or more most beautiful on the playground.

If someone took too long at the ATM we could just push them out of the way and say ‘ My Turn’.

When food was absolute rubbish at our favourite restaurants we could just throw it on the floor in disgust and then a new option would magically appear in front of us- no questions asked.

When we’d had a big day, someone would just pick us up while we were kicking and screaming and put us to bed.

We would talk to more strangers, and smile back when someone noticed our beautiful puffy cheeks.

We would also be a hell of a lot more honest. If someone farted, we would have more people claiming them proudly and cheering after.

When we noticed a loved one putting on weight we could just slap them on the belly and say ‘baby?’

I think If kids ruled the world, we could just learn a thing or two.

P.s ‘Sheets’ still lives next door……..and still continues to hide, maybe I should send the boys over!

 

 

 

 

 

Why Rooms Get Smaller and Heroes Must Fade Away

 

 

Last week at school was our Sports Carnival. It is always a fantastic day for the children and for the staff. It is one of those days when the barriers between students and teachers dissolve, it becomes house team against house team and for a small moment in time we are our student’s peers. Our Academically weak shine on the sports field, and for that one  day of the year they become ‘Top Of The Class’. It is also a day that proud mums and dads line the sidelines to catch a glimpse of their son or daughter, most taking time off from a busy day at work, to support their little person as they run what seems like the longest race in the world. 

One older sibling had come to support his brother, after having left primary school several years ago he as enjoying his trip down memory lane. He approached us teachers in the tents for a chat and a catch up. One thing he said has remained in my thoughts every day since we spoke.

 ‘I remember my last sports day here, but the oval seemed so much bigger than it is today’. Of course in reality the oval had never changed, but the young boy who once ran here had turned into a man. His body had matured, his perceptions had changed and his ‘present’ had become reflective of his current circumstance, he was now an adult.

It got me to thinking about how as children we must experience growth and change in order for us to move forward as well adjusted adults and with this change, comes an acceptance of adult truth.  Yeah sure it was warm there, it was safe there in our minds while looking at aspects of our life through a child- like lens, but this lens is not reality, it is not what is ‘real’. We protect our children from the evils around us by allowing them to use this ‘lens’, because without it, people are just a bunch of pretty shit adults who practice little of what they preach, and for at least 18 years we want to help shield them from the truth. The Tooth Fairy, Santa, fake phone calls to the police when you try and con your son into owning up to a petty theft,  it is all part of this rite of passage.

I look back on my childhood and how lucky I was to have many heroes in my life. As a little girl I remember looking to these people as the light on my garden path, I looked to them for truths and in the most part modelled my own adolescent morality on what I was ‘taught’ was the right way to think and believe. At the time, through my ‘lens’ they were one hundred percent an authority on life and living. Sadly, as age and maturity would have it, with each birthday I clocked, a little more of the lens became cloudy. Each year a little more hurt, a little more let down, a little more tired of waiting, a little more ‘used’. The invisible cloaks that those close had held up to protect us slowly but steadily fell to the floor, what we thought were our foundations had become complete bullshit and replaced with not so nice things and not so nice people. There will always be those in our childhoods who claim high morality,  who are quick to condemn those not living up to the high standard they are faking for themselves, but soon enough  ‘reality’  has to step out of the shadows. Rooms become darker, days become longer, school ovals became smaller and heroes must fade away to nothing. 

There are of course those who for whatever reason choose to stay living as ‘children’ and ignore this passage of truth. Blaming others as a child would, feeling a sense of entitlement, manipulating loved ones around them as a child would,  throwing their toys from the pram as a child does and making choices with no regard for consequences- as a child does. For these people you can only hope that in their lucid hours, they can still remember what is real, what is the truth, for it is only when we are truly alone that we are left with what is ‘truly’ right. You can lie to others, but you can never successfully lie to yourself.  Maybe in those hours when the consequences of the ‘victim’ mentality’ are the loudest thoughts in their minds, they can see that it is actually an impossibility in life – that on every occasion it was always  someone else’s fault, maybe just one or twice being ‘right’ should have come second….and yet because of all of this they choose not to see that they are still loved, because it easier this way. 

If you are lucky, losing this childhood perception is hopefully your first real encounter with grief. Once you learn to accept that it isn’t really ‘anything you have really lost’ but more ‘what never really was’ you can move forward and try be the best adult and parent you can be.

To my dear boys, whilst I can never promise to keep you from the truth, I can always promise you this:

As a mum now I know that it should never be my child’s job to carry and protect me, but always my job to carry and protect my children. It doesn’t matter how old I get, or where life takes us……my love for you is paramount. There will never be anyone more important in a mother’s life than her own children, and nor should there be, for the intentions of those not in blood, can never be as pure. You will never have to wonder if I choose ‘you’, for the answer will always be…..yes.

 

 

Only a mother could love them……

I have so much to catch up on here in Blogsville! Why is it that for 48 weeks of the year you could be the winner of ‘Australia’s Most Boring’ then for four weeks you live like the winner of Big Brother. You attend every event known to man and see more people in a week than you have in the last 10 years? It’s been such a big month. Weddings, elections, friends, family, birthdays, uni assignments and of course work.

Despite all of this excitement, I wanted to write about the two things that made me feel human this week. Sometimes things happen around us that make us sit back, shut up and leave us speechless.

After school each day the teachers wait with the children at the pick-up area. Most teachers hate this part, and admittedly some days I do stand there thinking ‘Hurry up and get your children, the quicker you come the quicker I can get my own boys’. This week I stood at pick up with tears in my eyes, hidden under my sunglasses of course. I watched as child after child ran excitedly towards their mums and dads with those big open armed hugs that only kids can give. It was like they hadn’t seen each other for years. The parents walked in one by one, some in work uniforms after a crappy day at work. Some feeling tired, some feeling completely ‘over it’. It would not have mattered if they had left the house fighting each other in the morning, all was forgotten by home time and their mums and dads were their heroes. One particular boy had been struggling with his behaviour all day. It was fair to say he was being a little…(insert word here).  By home time I was glad he was going home to someone else’s house. Moments later I looked up and saw his mum beaming from ear to ear as he ran towards her. Just goes to show even the naughty ones have a mum who thinks the world of them. Might just remember this next time I get a tricky one.

(NB: not all teachers leave on the bell, remember I’m doing casual work. Just had to add that in, as my teacher friends would kill me for feeding the great debate on teacher working hours)

Secondly, A few weeks ago I was stunned by the death of Charlotte Dawson. I felt so strongly about the issues surrounding her death that when I sat down to write about them I couldn’t. It was in the too hard basket. Where do you start? Suicide will always evoke extreme emotions, be it anger, guilt, sadness or disbelief. I guess at the end of the day, I didn’t because whenever a celebrity is pushed into the spotlight, I am left feeling like we should be telling the stories of the people behind the lights, the everyday strugglers, the ones whose stories are never told.

This week upon returning to work the staff were informed of the tragic passing of one of our young mums. She was 34 years old and had taken her own life in the most devastating way. She left behind a husband, a darling 5 year old daughter and a beautiful 7 year old son.  It is now known that she suffered from severe depression. I write this with just love and pure sympathy – absolutely no judgement. Judgement from others will not help her beautiful children as they try to live life without their mum. I looked at her little girl yesterday as she sat listening to me read her a story. Inside I was a weak mess but she smiled back at me waiting to hear more. I wondered what was going on in this little mind, and thought how most adults in the same situation would have lay on the floor kicking and screaming. Sometimes children are there to be the teachers. This five year old showed more courage, dignity and strength than most people I have ever encountered. At the end of the day she came to collect her sticker and her face lit up with excitement, just one week after losing the most important woman in her life, even if she hadn’t yet realised it was forever. She placed the sticker on her hand then skipped out of the room.

As a mum I was rocked to the core by this story. There have been moments where I myself have questioned if I was the best mum for my boys, luckily as with most people who doubt themselves, these thoughts were fleeting and I have a fabulous network of loved ones around for when days get tough. I guess the lesson learned here is that sometimes there is nothing that can keep people with us. But just in case there is a small chance, it costs nothing to ask ‘Are you okay?’

https://www.ruokday.com/

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