Revised: The real list of things that men do to annoy women

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Last night my husband was scrolling through Twitter when I heard him laugh out loud. ‘Here you’ll like this one’ he called out, which usually means I will find it offensive in some way and that he is out to annoy me for the next 15 minutes. I must say 9 out of 10 times I will take the bait and launch into a discussion about why it is not funny to be looking at pictures entitled ‘Epic Drunken Fails’ or anything featuring overweight, naked people.  It turns out he was laughing at a post titled ‘The ten things men do to annoy women’.

Admittedly some items were true and clearly demonstrated the female tendency to change our minds depending on what day it is (lie to them, tell them the truth, speaking too much, speaking too little, being too nice, being too mean, breathing, not breathing) but it just goes to show that men still have no clue about what it is that they could be doing to make life a little easier for us.  It also proves that my husband knows exactly what to do to push my buttons and also knows what to do to make my life easier, so my question is, if they know what pisses us off – why don’t they just stop doing it?

So here is my list of things that men do to annoy women-Just in time for Christmas boys!

1. When men return home from their daily adventures, women will ask  ‘What did you get up to today?‘ or ‘Did you see anyone?’. The men say ‘no, nothing much and no, I didn’t see anyone’. Fast forward to a week later and we find out that not only did you see long lost Uncle Barry, but he is now marrying a circus performer and we are invited to the wedding. The men respond with ‘Didn’t I tell you?’ No you bloody didn’t. Just tell us what we need to know, WHEN we need to know it.

2. Women spend precious minutes deliberating over the best words to use when composing a text message to our loved ones, perhaps a few sentences of our deepest heartfelt sentiments or sometimes even a little argument. We see the little dots flashing (for you Iphone users out there) and get excited anticipating their reply, only to hear the beep…. and it reads ‘ok’. Um excuse me, I have just written you fourteen sentences and asked 4 questions, how the hell have you just answered with ok?

3.Men please don’t reply to arguments about housework equity, with ‘I do the gardens and I empty the bins’. These events occur monthly and weekly. The dishes are daily, the washing is daily, 2 x baby carrying=18 months hard time. We will put up no fight should you ever wish to swap. And yes we realise the reason you don’t ask to swap is because you ‘know’ exactly what’s happening here.

4. Wetting the babies Head: Are you guys serious? What part of your participation in this grand event are we celebrating? This has got to be some type of sick joke. You are going to try and convince a fat, hormonal and tired new mother who has just spent 18 hours in labour that it is YOU that deserves the beer and the slap on the back.

5. Men who get out of bed last and wonder why the bed is not made when they’re preparing to get back into it at night. Because it is sooooo easy to make the bed while you are still sleeping in it. I have never met a woman who says ‘ I just love getting up at 5 every morning with the kids so we can sit and watch you sleep so peacefully.

6. Food shopping is not actually just OUR job. You do help to eat the food and we are well aware that when you are sent to shop that you purposely buy the wrong products in order to deem yourself an ‘unreliable shopper’ who will never be asked to go again. My name is not Susan, I do not wear an apron, apply my lippy before you get home or live in the 1950’s.

7. If we have just spent an hour getting ready to go out, we want to be told we look great.

8. Do not ever see the petrol light come on and think, ‘I can’t be bothered, she can get it on her way to work in the morning’. This is never an ‘Ok’ thought to have. She will NEVER enjoy filling the car up with petrol and will not feel exhilarated by trying to run the gauntlet before the car conks out on the side of the road.

9. Male toilet behaviour. I am merely pointing out that it isn’t the ladies who wee’s under the toilet lid.

10. As soon as our phone rings and we speak our first words, you all of a sudden want to ask us questions. Very loud, important and urgent questions that couldn’t possibly have been asked in the 9 hours leading up to the phone call. Stop it, just wait.

11. Don’t fall asleep on the couch holding the remote control and then as soon as we are able to prize it away and get it onto the Real Housewives, wake up like some one has stolen your cat declaring ‘ I was watching that’.You were sleeping, relinquish control of the remote. Also stop trying to flick through channels during the ads of our favourite shows, you will never be able to get the timing right.

I must point out that the above ‘ annoying acts’ are not based on my own husband. Whilst this is not a true story, some characters have been inspired by real life events. However if my husband IS reading please stop leaving your drinking glass on the uneven part of the sink. It will never ever balance there. You choose the one part of the ample sized sink to balance a glass, knowing it will fall into the sink every time. Please just put it in the dish rack provided!

When I started writing list, I thought I would be here for hours. Turns out men aren’t so bad. But really guys, just get on board!

Third Time Lucky or Three’s a crowd?

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So those of you with children will be familiar with the mad battle that us 20 to 40 something’s have from time to time. Life is going smoothly, the kids are getting older and dare I say ‘easier’. The baby bags are getting smaller and at times can be forgotten altogether . No more looking down at my hands at the supermarket and realising there’s actual poo on them, and no more frantically searching for somewhere to expose my underwear, floppy belly,breasts and nipples to strangers whilst trying to convince myself  that it is totally normal to do so in order to feed my child.    ( which I still have not achieved and sorry guys I will just never be a’ just yank it out,’ type of gal ‘)

The nights are beginning to feel like nights again- full of sleep and guilt free red wines. Then there’s me. I am standing at the station waiting for the train…one is headed to ‘Normal Town’ where bodies have returned to a semi-human looking state after housing two big boys and then the  brain is beginning to turn back towards ‘worky’ type things rather than the big issues in life. Like When will Playschool tour Brisbane again? and Did you know that the new cafe down the street has a kids play area ? #serenity #newhome #myshout.

I can finally start to sit down with my child-less friends for at least one sip of coffee before running off mid sentence to capture a pint sized escapee who becomes an expert at locating the nearest $2 shopping centre ride. Within minutes of seeing your weary bottom hit the chair the toddler radar is alerted to the next colourful target. (This months $2 mechanical miracle ride is the Peppa Pig’s rotating rocket, conveniently located right outside the coffee shop.)

Then there is the other train…roaring into the station at full steam ahead, it’s the train back to what I affectionately like to call ‘Crazy Town’. Yep, that’s right the one where you and your husband discuss ‘trying for a third baby’. I mean what a great idea! Life is good, life is calm, let’s go muck it all up, rewind ourselves a few years and head  back to crazy town! Are we nuts? There are days where I think, I can’t even handle the two I have, why would I add to this madness? It wasn’t so long ago that I couldn’t even do food shopping without my chicken being hurled from the trolley at passers by and my watermelon being poked to death by little fingers…..well actually this was last week (boys and shops huh!)

Though it seems everyone has an opinion on the matter. Having two beautiful boys, people just love  telling us how we should be trying for a girl. Yes if I am honest, despite being a huge lover of boys, with two beautiful baby boys already of course I would love a girl to finish our family. Admittedly I  wouldn’t know what to do upon opening a nappy with no willy in it, but am up for the challenge. However, we go into this decision knowing that due to family history the odds are stacked and a third boy will be our  cherry on top. We go into this decision trying for a third healthy baby, and not for a girl. When this baby business started we just wanted three humans in our life….so lets not get picky.

Then there are those from 3 sibling families who say the dynamics were a nightmare. Three’s a crowd they say, ‘there’s always one left out’ or ‘there’s always a weird one with three’ . We get it. Three means new car, new house and no holidays until 2099, but  I just don’t feel finished at 2. Maybe it’s because I myself am from a two child family. Maybe it’s because I feel like my brother was my best friend, and with just two of us, when he’s not there, I have no one. Maybe because I loved the chaos that would occur in the morning at my best friends house with four kids running around. I am sure she got sick of constantly sharing a room with her sisters, or getting hand me downs, but I am also sure she is grateful today for those memories. Or maybe it is because even at my age, I still hate being alone.

So the next  train to crazy town is fast approaching the station, and I am pretty sure we will hop on and see where it takes us.

(NB- for friends and family this train will not be leaving until after Christmas due to mummy’s appreciation of wine during the festive season)

Oh and I almost forgot, If you are one of three and are sitting there thinking, “What is she on about?, there wasn’t a weird one in our house” then it was probably you.

 

 

One Lovely Blog Award: The Soundtrack to my life so far…

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So I have been blabbing away on my Blog for well over a year now, and I have to say that we have experienced a ‘topsy turvy’ relationship. Some weeks are great, the writing comes easy, the stats are high and there are comments a plenty. Other weeks you sit down to write and wind up searching realestate.com despite having no intention of moving. You wonder if the views you’ve had have come inadvertently from a poor dyslexic stumbling their way through Google and finding you completely by accident. You wonder if your latest follower is just another marketing scam promising to boost your ‘Blogging Mojo’. Accident or not it is always nice to know someone is out there.

I still get so excited by new followers, and finding fabulous new blogs is still a thrill. It is especially heart warming to be nominated for ‘The Lovely Blog Award’ by my fellow Queenslander and former A- league Soccer Widow – Mrs C from Mammasvida: A Mamma’s Life Musings.  For a truly honest opinion on all things children, food, life and love head over and take a look. Thank you mammasvida for making me feel so normal, I often read your blogs and think ‘It’s not just me then’, and really admire your honest style. I could use a tip or two from you on how to be truly honest in your  writing without offending your friends, as I am getting to the stage in ones Blogging life when those who know you personally, call you frantically shouting ‘I hope that  blog isn’t about me’.

In keeping with the ‘I’ve been nominated but don’t want to bore every with 7 things about myself again’ theme, I like those have gone before me will create my Lovely Blog Award with a twist.

My 12 Songs: The soundtrack to my life so far …..

Now let me just start by saying, I certainly DO NOT have these songs playing in my car. They are not  my TOP 12 songs in order, or even songs I like, but more the songs that have been chosen for me. These are the songs that when we watch our lives back in slow motion will remind us of  that time in our lives. The songs that take us back to our greatest moments and also the lowest moments in our lives.

1# Nothings Going To Change My love for You: Glen Medeiros, 1987.

I’m not sure how well you would go here but his is actually the first actual song I can ever remember hearing. I was 4 years old, living in the UK (pre-immigration). I remember seeing this film clip on what would have been one of the earliest ‘Video Hits’ shows in London . Terribly, Terribly tragic song, with an even worse film clip. Oh Dear! Child of the 80’s.

2#Give Peace a Chance: John Lennon 1969. Shortly after arriving in Australia I remember by mum and dad playing this on the old record player in our very first house. Usually 2am in the morning after being at the pub and often involving discussions about being homesick or late night calls back to family in England. Some nights it was happy and some nights it was sad.(Often played with Bonnie Tyler and Tina Turner’s greatest hits)

3# Stylistics: Any song, any year. I remember my mum finding this CD in our local Brashes store and being so exciting about it. I too was excited for her until it became the ‘I’ll be playing this very loud for the next 3 hours while I clean the house‘ soundtrack. Will always remind me of my mum.

4# Enya: Only time:2000. This song was played on repeat by my midwife while I laboured my first son in 2010. Being very much the opposite of an earth mother, I refused to make a birth plan or CD like all of the other very  ‘interesting people’ at my birthing class. Who the hell will notice what is playing when a human comes tearing its way out of you like alien life form?’ is what I was thinking. Well turns out you do notice. It probably wasn’t on repeat, but after 18 hours I guess I heard it a few times. Still makes me cry when I hear it, in a good way. I never really listened to the words until afterwards. Such a happy day.

6#Time of Your Life:Green Day:1997. This song reminds me of being a teenager. First parties. First Drinking. First Boyfriends. High School and all that went on in those 5 awkward and horrid years. Also reminds me of the Adelaide Crows (AFL) winning back to back premierships and having a party to celebrate.

7# Fields Of Athenry: Various. This song is important for many reasons. Firstly my Irish heritage meant many family gatherings were spent listening to Irish music. In his younger years I remember my Grandad entertaining at his house with his old tape recorder on the kitchen ledge leaned as close as possible to the fly screen so he could belt out his Irish Tunes into the garden. This song was played at many family events. This was also the song I danced to with dad at my own wedding. We had planned it out for years and when it finally happened, I don’t remember there being anyone else in the room. A moment we had waited for since I was a little girl and one I will remember when I am an old woman. A good memory of the way we used to be.

8#Incubus: Any song, Any year. Reminds me of my husband. Is one of his favourite bands. I have it as my ring tone when he calls. Even our children know the words.

9#Dream Catch Me, Newton Falkner. 2007. This song was still playing in 2008 when I first started seeing my husband. We had only been together a year or so when he asked if I wanted to move with him to the Gold Coast with him for his Soccer Career. Not  one for chasing men and definitely not one for following them interstate,  this was a huge decision to make. Turns our it was the best one of my life but I still remember questioning if I was doing the right thing at the time. I remember this song always use to come on the radio when I was thinking about it.

10# Standby Me: Ben E King.1961. This was our wedding dance. Classic song. Enough said

11#I won’t let you go. James Morrison:2011. Another song from our wedding. Just love the words to this one.

12#Let It go.Idina Menzel (Frozen Movie) :2013. Whilst we are still subjected to listening to this torturous song on Youtube three times a day, I just know this will one day make me smile and think about my beautiful little boys standing on our bed and singing it together.

 

So there you have it My top 12 songs and my  ‘One Lovely Blog Award’  I would love to hear yours!

Have a great week.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

What If our children ruled the world…..

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What If our children ruled the world?

We have lived in our smallish town house, in our quiet, safe suburb for three years now. In that three years we have added two beautiful boys to our family and have seen some fairly memorable neighbours come and go (you can read more about them in my October 2013 post titled ‘Noisy Neighbours…including how one of them got the nickname ‘sheets’). We have also had many neighbours who have been here living just  metres away from us since the very beginning whom I still wouldn’t recognize from a bar of soap if I saw them in them at the shops. This was until last week. I cannot take credit for this, this didn’t happen because of me the ‘adult’ but because of the actions of my two little boys, ‘The Children’. The ones we say have a lot to learn from us ‘The Adults’.

Isn’t it terrible that after three years of living literally next door it has taken until now to have a proper  chat with our neighbours? Not that I haven’t tried. When we first moved in I would regularly try and befriend our immediate next door neighbour, who still to this day will unashamedly pretend she hasn’t seen me when we pass on the path and who I have caught quickly running into the house when we pull up the driveway (Yes crazy lady…I have seen you and know what you are up to!) who knows why?  Maybe my husband is right and she has heard me calling her by her nickname ‘sheets’. So I sort of just gave up, If they couldn’t be bothered then I wouldn’t keep trying either.

The shame of all this was that the neighbours had children too. When we first moved in my boys were little, but now they are old enough to stand at the fence, peeking through the gaps as the neighbourhood kids ride up and down the driveway shouting out in excitement. They are still that little bit too young to go outside without me, so last week I turned to my eldest and said ‘ do you want to go out?’ He was so excited, and ran to the gate. He is a shy child and I guess in new social situations, I am shy too, but luckily his little baby brother was there to break the ice.

Within minutes he was running up and down the street squealing with laughter. The older girl from a few doors down was walking around with my youngest on her hip and later asked if she could take the boys in  to meet her mum, who apparently loved babies. Feeling a little bit awkward I said yes….. and there you have it, it was that simple, of course it is normal to take a random child inside your home to meet your mum!………No over thinking, no over analysing- after 3 years we were talking to the neighbours. For the record she was lovely. She shared lots about herself in just a few short minutes and you could tell she was a good, loving and proud mum.

My eldest hasn’t stopped talking about our meeting since and keeps asking when we are going to play with our friends again. I must admit I am a little embarrassed that we hadn’t done it sooner and that it took children to break down our barriers. You see children look at the world simply. They don’t see the awkwardness that we see, they don’t hold grudges, they forgive freely, and  they make friends easily…because through the eyes of a child….if we talk and play nicely just once, then we are best friends.

This got me to thinking about how when it comes to living and being part of society, maybe the kids have this stuff right, and we have it all wrong? It is only when adults start to interfere with their pure, untainted ideologies that things start to fall apart for them.

So If our children ruled the world then maybe ……………………………

Friends could be made with just a smile and a shared ride on a scooter.

After a big tantrum, we could just have a nap and all the mean words that were shared would be forgotten when we both woke up.

Any injury or hurt feeling ever caused in the world could be fixed with a Peppa Pig Band Aid and a magic kiss.

Hugs and I love you’s are all we would need to start  the day, not 6 strong lattes before lunchtime.

Self esteem would be based on who had the best Thomas the Tank Engine Tshirt…not on who was the skinniest or more most beautiful on the playground.

If someone took too long at the ATM we could just push them out of the way and say ‘ My Turn’.

When food was absolute rubbish at our favourite restaurants we could just throw it on the floor in disgust and then a new option would magically appear in front of us- no questions asked.

When we’d had a big day, someone would just pick us up while we were kicking and screaming and put us to bed.

We would talk to more strangers, and smile back when someone noticed our beautiful puffy cheeks.

We would also be a hell of a lot more honest. If someone farted, we would have more people claiming them proudly and cheering after.

When we noticed a loved one putting on weight we could just slap them on the belly and say ‘baby?’

I think If kids ruled the world, we could just learn a thing or two.

P.s ‘Sheets’ still lives next door……..and still continues to hide, maybe I should send the boys over!

 

 

 

 

 

In other words…..best ‘net’ words of the week

I can’t seem to find my words lately. I know they are in there somewhere, but when the world gets messy they are usually the first casualty. So instead of my usual rants I thought I would steal the words of others. Despite loathing many of the cliche’, self promoting texts and meme’s that float through social media,  Every now and then someone will send me one that will make me genuinely belly laugh, or strongly resonate with me. These are some of the recent ones that have made the famous ‘so funny I will screenshot them’ collection.

 

Enjoy!

 

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I love this one…….I do wonder sometimes if the ‘excessive’ status updater’s are trying hardest to convince others of something they don’t quite believe themselves?

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mmmmm…..I am very guilty of this one, perhaps why I laughed so hard on reading it.

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enough said……….Sadly I am sure you could all think of someone this could apply too.

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Beautiful…not too sure if it was actually Shakespeare, but worthy all the same. The sad thing about this one is those playing the game are often too self absorbed to notice that no one else is playing any more.

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Okay I know….this one is very juvenile but I am constantly listening out for strange sounds in night, as my husband is often away working. I can soooooooo imagine this happening in my house! I am thinking I’d go with the laugh……..

 

 

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I am so SICK TO DEATH of people saying ‘everything happens for a reason’ after something has gone wrong. Yes…thankyou for stating the obvious…but sometimes shit things just happen, and not because of some divine intervention but because of sometimes people just do shitty things to each other!

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LOVE THIS ONE ……..You have officially entered parenthood when you do this at 4am on the way to the toilet. You get back into bed hopping around on one leg wondering how the bloody hell the Lego even got into your room. Usually a few choice words to go along with this one.

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Ha! Pure brilliance…………that is all.

 

 

Anyway….hope you enjoyed my ‘cheat’ post for the week. If you have any that will make me laugh…please forward:)

Have a great weekend!

 

 

 

When inclusivity becomes exclusion

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Despite legislation mandating that students with disabilities receive an education equal to that of any other student (Disability Discrimination Act 1992) the inclusion of students with Special Needs into the mainstream classroom is still a controversial debate in many staffrooms and school car parks.

Whilst such conversations are generally only had behind closed doors, as any opinion against ‘inclusivity’ would carry heavy consequences, those on the front lines are not always confident in their ability to best cater for our most vulnerable learners, resulting in a negative culture of exclusion developing in our schools.

A school close to home is currently struggling to accommodate for a spike in the enrolment of students with Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD). From a peer point of view it seems that teacher attitude towards these types of learners is fast becoming the greatest hurdle in achieving true inclusivity.

‘He shouldn’t be here’,

‘This isn’t the place for him’

‘It’s not fair on him’

These are among the more positive comments to be heard from the mouths of teachers and Teacher Aids in the past few months.

One particular child who lives with a co-morbid diagnosis, presents with a range of violent and unsafe behaviours and is struggling to ‘fit in’ to his first year of Prep. He currently attends school for just two hours a day, and last week within an hour of being in the classroom has struck a fellow student directly in the face, bitten two teachers, threatened to kill two classmates and kicked and punched the teacher aids.

The school appears to be doing all of the ‘right’ things to promote inclusivity for this child, but I do wonder if the lack of teacher training, paired with escalation of negative teacher attitudes is contributing in some way to this declining situation.

Parents are starting to whisper in the car park, teachers are up in arms at having to be subjected to such dangerous conditions and staff are losing patience. The requirement to ‘include’ this child without the proper training, and evidence based programs in place is fast becoming the reason for this child’s ‘exclusion’ from our school environment. By pretending to ‘include’ this child, we have ultimately contributed to his exclusion. Parents have already turned their backs on him, students are scared of him and despite their best intentions, teachers are fearful.

Who is to blame here? You see the problem cannot be that the child is just ‘not fitting in’, or ‘it isn’t the right place’, but more that the school has not genuinely adapted and properly prepared to accommodate for the arrival of the child. The school was reactive instead of proactive and action plans were being made as situations came to a head. A lack of current knowledge and evidence based practice is to blame.

When I hear people say, ‘This isn’t the place for him’ it drives me wild.

Where do they suggest ‘is’ the place for him? At home? Should he stay at Kindy until he reaches an age at which he is mentally able to cope with the demands of the school environment? He could be shaving before he makes it to Year 1!

Special school programs when they are available and within a reasonable proximity to the family, are limited in space and are often only able to consider Intellectual Disabilities as criteria for entry.

Students with ASD are being left out in the cold. Too left of centre for the mainstream, but to ‘normal’ for special settings. With the prevalence rate of ASD currently sitting at around 1 in 80 students, isn’t it about time teacher attitudes got a kick up the bum, and teacher training programs and systemic funding be modified to reflect this need in our classrooms?

Why Rooms Get Smaller and Heroes Must Fade Away

 

 

Last week at school was our Sports Carnival. It is always a fantastic day for the children and for the staff. It is one of those days when the barriers between students and teachers dissolve, it becomes house team against house team and for a small moment in time we are our student’s peers. Our Academically weak shine on the sports field, and for that one  day of the year they become ‘Top Of The Class’. It is also a day that proud mums and dads line the sidelines to catch a glimpse of their son or daughter, most taking time off from a busy day at work, to support their little person as they run what seems like the longest race in the world. 

One older sibling had come to support his brother, after having left primary school several years ago he as enjoying his trip down memory lane. He approached us teachers in the tents for a chat and a catch up. One thing he said has remained in my thoughts every day since we spoke.

 ‘I remember my last sports day here, but the oval seemed so much bigger than it is today’. Of course in reality the oval had never changed, but the young boy who once ran here had turned into a man. His body had matured, his perceptions had changed and his ‘present’ had become reflective of his current circumstance, he was now an adult.

It got me to thinking about how as children we must experience growth and change in order for us to move forward as well adjusted adults and with this change, comes an acceptance of adult truth.  Yeah sure it was warm there, it was safe there in our minds while looking at aspects of our life through a child- like lens, but this lens is not reality, it is not what is ‘real’. We protect our children from the evils around us by allowing them to use this ‘lens’, because without it, people are just a bunch of pretty shit adults who practice little of what they preach, and for at least 18 years we want to help shield them from the truth. The Tooth Fairy, Santa, fake phone calls to the police when you try and con your son into owning up to a petty theft,  it is all part of this rite of passage.

I look back on my childhood and how lucky I was to have many heroes in my life. As a little girl I remember looking to these people as the light on my garden path, I looked to them for truths and in the most part modelled my own adolescent morality on what I was ‘taught’ was the right way to think and believe. At the time, through my ‘lens’ they were one hundred percent an authority on life and living. Sadly, as age and maturity would have it, with each birthday I clocked, a little more of the lens became cloudy. Each year a little more hurt, a little more let down, a little more tired of waiting, a little more ‘used’. The invisible cloaks that those close had held up to protect us slowly but steadily fell to the floor, what we thought were our foundations had become complete bullshit and replaced with not so nice things and not so nice people. There will always be those in our childhoods who claim high morality,  who are quick to condemn those not living up to the high standard they are faking for themselves, but soon enough  ‘reality’  has to step out of the shadows. Rooms become darker, days become longer, school ovals became smaller and heroes must fade away to nothing. 

There are of course those who for whatever reason choose to stay living as ‘children’ and ignore this passage of truth. Blaming others as a child would, feeling a sense of entitlement, manipulating loved ones around them as a child would,  throwing their toys from the pram as a child does and making choices with no regard for consequences- as a child does. For these people you can only hope that in their lucid hours, they can still remember what is real, what is the truth, for it is only when we are truly alone that we are left with what is ‘truly’ right. You can lie to others, but you can never successfully lie to yourself.  Maybe in those hours when the consequences of the ‘victim’ mentality’ are the loudest thoughts in their minds, they can see that it is actually an impossibility in life – that on every occasion it was always  someone else’s fault, maybe just one or twice being ‘right’ should have come second….and yet because of all of this they choose not to see that they are still loved, because it easier this way. 

If you are lucky, losing this childhood perception is hopefully your first real encounter with grief. Once you learn to accept that it isn’t really ‘anything you have really lost’ but more ‘what never really was’ you can move forward and try be the best adult and parent you can be.

To my dear boys, whilst I can never promise to keep you from the truth, I can always promise you this:

As a mum now I know that it should never be my child’s job to carry and protect me, but always my job to carry and protect my children. It doesn’t matter how old I get, or where life takes us……my love for you is paramount. There will never be anyone more important in a mother’s life than her own children, and nor should there be, for the intentions of those not in blood, can never be as pure. You will never have to wonder if I choose ‘you’, for the answer will always be…..yes.